


Tears and T-shirts

by mikasangels



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Breakup, Fluff and Angst, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio Fluff, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama x Hinata - Freeform, Lots of Angst, M/M, Past Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, The feels, and yknow volleyball, forming new relationship, haha i wrote this awhile ago but i still think it's cute, its cute ok, its my first fic please be forgiving, kags is a dramaqueen, ok listen, ooooh it's deep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 18:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15149501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikasangels/pseuds/mikasangels
Summary: After Oikawa broke up with him, Kageyama locked himself in his room, in the solidarity of his self pity and confusion. Until he happened to stumble upon a boy like the sun. Hinata Shouyou.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic, but i hope you enjoy this Fluff and Angst catered to your kagehina needs.
> 
> (It took me a long time to accept this head-canon, at first I thought there was NO way that Kageyama and Oikawa ever dated, but after awhile the idea grew on me. I thought it would be an interesting explanation for animosity between them, and why Oikawa's so goddamn smug all the time. So finally, I recognized it by writing a fanfic about it... here it is!)

Kageyama fumbled out of his aging sheets on to the thick carpet with no intention to stand up. He swept the heavy gray sleeves of his hoodie over his face, trying to hide the stains of tears on his cheeks and the forming ones on the threshold of his eyes. His hair had become matted and knotted over the days that he had simply laid in his bed. 

“I don’t cry.” 

It was only a whisper

“I don’t cry.” 

It wasn’t a statement it was a question.

_ Why was he so hurt.  _

“I wasn’t even that attached.” he said to himself.

“Why does it seem like I care more now that we’re not together?”

 

Kageyama wasn’t one to question things. But now, he was questioning  _ everything. _

A separation is a thing that drives someone to the outskirts of their personalities, so they see, with confused clarity who they’ve been all along.

“Did I-” Kageyama tilted his head back and it hit the bedpost. He let out a small squeak between his clenched teeth. He closed his eyes and leaned back once again, more successfully this time.

“What did I do wrong.” 

“What did he not like in me.”

_ What is wrong with me? _

Kageyama wasn’t the most self aware person, and now it was painful how desperate he was to see himself how the others did. To see himself how Oikawa saw him. To see, through his ex-boyfriend’s eyes, just how flawed he was. 

He felt hasty but helpless to fix these imperfections. 

 

He noticed his gaze settled onto a shirt hung around the top of his desk chair. It was turquoise cotton. It smelled like some kind of moderately expensive cologne, and some terribly floral shampoo. Kageyama could almost gag at the overpowering scents together. It was Oikawa. 

Kageyama did not want to burn Oikawa’s shirt (yet). He just wanted for the tears to stop. He wanted the pain to subside. He wanted to end the hurt. 

His eyes just lazily drifted along the seams of the shirt, imagining it fitted around Oikawa’s torso. Oikawa airborne blocking a spike. Oikawa sitting at the dinner table making a pleasant conversation with his parents. Oikawa laughing as he kissed the side of Kageyama’s cheek. Kageyama’s first kiss.

Kageyama was glowing. He was so happy because he had never felt anybody kiss him before and it was soft and seemed sweet and at the moment he was important. 

 

Now, as Kageyama sat slumped against his comforter, his legs carelessly sprawled in front of him, the moment felt tarnished. Ruined. Dirty almost. Now, he hated the fact that Oikawa had been the one to kiss him first. Almost as if the moment was fake now. Stolen from him. 

Perhaps Kageyama loved Oikawa. But that’s not what hurt him. He was devoted, and tried to be thoughtful, he tried to please Oikawa. He was not enough. And that’s what made him feel dizzy and sick as if he had a constant case of the flu.

Kageyama’s long fingers clenched at his tee-shirt, because no matter how much he thought about it, none of it made sense. 

He could start to feel the hate seeping in. He hated that he had ever trusted Oikawa. He had appreciated him.

“He wasted me. He sees me as something to waste.”

 

As children our mothers tell us that we are better. They tell us what makes us good, and their compliments makes us whole. We are built by what our parents see in us. Then, we are relinquished to the world. Kageyama, of course still lived with his parents, but he was no longer a child. 

He was no longer whole. 

That’s all he felt and saw in himself. 

We can trust our parents when were young to formulate our self confidences, but they are no representations of how we can really hold ourselves up. 

Kageyama had been hit down. 

“Damn it.”

“Damn it, Damn it, Damn it.”

Kageyama hated when he sunk into his thoughts. 

 

He pulled his legs to his chest, and rested his chin on his knees, his head propped upwards. Kageyama threw his arm backwards catching the strewn headphones on his bed. He plugged them into his phone and debated over which depressing love songs he could listen to on repeat. He was never one for piano ballads, but at this point he was looking for any form of sympathy. 

All of the people that Kageyama might’ve called friends, we’re actually Oikawa’s friends. He didn’t even want to begin to look for someone to talk to. 

They would only laugh

_ They would just take advantage of this disgusting state I’m in. Then I would never be able to get back to normal.  _

Kageyama felt like he was so far from normal now. He didn’t know when he would ever be welcome to normal again. 

 

_ I want him back.  _

_ I never want to see him again.  _

_ I want to kiss him.  _

_ I want to slap him. _

_ I want to cry. _

_ I want to talk to him.  _

_ I want to scream at him.  _

_ I want to fix this.  _

_ I want to fix myself.  _

 

His phone lit up, and began vibrating against the skin of his thigh. 

Kageyama looked down at it wearily. 

 

**Tōru Oikawa**

 

Kageyama bounded off the floor, the earbuds tearing out of his ears. He just stared at the contact picture of Oikawa, his chocolate brown hair framing his pale face. He wanted to puke. He swung down, his phone resting in his palm, holding Oikawa’s contact close to his face now, studying it. 

Without much thought Kageyama picked up the call. 

 

“Tobio chan-” Oikawa spoke with an uncomfortable amount of inquiry.

“Have you seen my shirt? The turquoise one? I think I left in your room two Fridays or so ago.”

He said everything as if he hadn’t broke up with Kageyama about five days ago. Kageyama just listened intently as Oikawa talked to him, going more in depth about the shirt and its location, and tried to determine how he felt hearing his melodic voice. 

“Sound familiar?”

 

Kageyama remembered two Fridays ago.

They had returned from volleyball practice, and Oikawa had changed out of his uniform into that shirt. Shortly after, they had fallen back onto Kageyama’s neatly made bed and started making out. Kageyama’s arms thrown casually thrown over Oikawa’s shoulders and Oikawa’s hand gripping the side of Kageyama’s neck. A bit later, Oikawa’s phone began to ring. Kageyama opened his eyes as Oikawa had already broken from his lips and walked across the room. 

“Oikawa here!” He said in a cheerful voice.

He pushed his fingers through his hair, his fluffy curls pulling back with them.

"mmhmm."

Kageyama propped himself up on his elbows and watched as Oikawa paced his room, promptly ending the call with a nonchalant tap. 

“I have to go, Tobio chan.”

Kageyama tried to suppress his disappointment. 

“Why?” 

Oikawa stepped over Kageyama's legs and slid down the wall until he was sitting on a pillow next to Kageyama’s head. 

“I have to meet Iwaizumi for extra practice.”

“Why?” Kageyama said again.

Oikawa shrugged.

“Who knows, but I can’t turn down a man with dedication.” 

Oikawa pulled his shirt over his shoulders, his finely defined abs momentarily exposed before he put on his tight volleyball uniform. 

“Yeah.” Kageyama said, when in truth, he was decidedly opposed to what Oikawa had just said.

_ I can’t turn down a man with dedication _

It didn’t sound like something that somebody's boyfriend should say

“Tobio chan?”

“No.”

“I mean I don’t remember seeing a shirt like that anywhere.”

“Oh… okay.”

Kageyama grabbed the shirt off his chair and threw it into the trash.

“Oikawa”

Kageyama bit his lip. 

“Did you ever take our relationship seriously?”

Kageyama couldn’t tell if Oikawa was expecting this or not.

“Well,” Oikawa started and then hesitated, “what do you mean exactly?”

“I mean, was I- was I enough for you?”

“Tobio, you’re really cute.”

Kageyama’s jaw tightened. 

“But, as I said a few days ago” Oikawa said referencing the break up, “You’re really naive and up- tight, and I don’t really like people like that.” 

“Why did you agree to dating me then?”

Oikawa cleared his throat on the other line.

“You were a really good at volleyball, and you were a  determined player, I admire that alot.”

Kageyama nodded even though he knew that Oikawa wouldn’t see it. 

“I hope this isn’t too hard on you.” Oikawa said, and Kageyama strained to sense the disgustingly endearing pity in Oikawa’s voice. 

“Yeah.”

That’s all Kageyama responded with.

“I gotta go Tobio-chan, but let me know if you see my shirt.”

That’s all he said and then he hung up. Kageyama’s phone went silent. 

 

Kageyama dropped his phone on the floor. He turned and looked out the single window in his bedroom and tried to avoid the opaque reflection of his own eyes.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” 

_ That definitely didn’t help anything _

That conversation either made Kageyama more saddened by the loss of their relationship, or extremely disgusted with himself for being in a relationship with Oikawa. 

He had stopped crying by now at least. 


	2. The orange haired boy

Kageyama stepped into his volleyball shoes. It felt right. Comfortable. He had avoided volleyball for as long as he could but he missed it unbearably after his ninth day of trying to stay off the court. He wasn’t at school of course, he didn’t want to run into anybody he knew, but instead the recreational center. 

 

For the past few days he had to restrain himself from calling Oikawa. From begging him for a second chance. Kageyama was trying to reject the pressuring feeling of missing Oikawa, without much success. Oikawa was a traitor now, but Kageyama couldn’t shake the feeling indebted to him. Loyalty is not an easy thing to break. 

 

As he approached the net his legs began to cramp, his stomach contorted. He just watched as the people around him spiked the ball back and forth. He turned to look back at the door. He didn’t want to call his mom to pick him up, because she had been so proud of him getting out of the house, when he had asked her she just gave him a quiet smile and nodded. 

“Yeah.” 

She reached out to touch his shoulder.

“Yeah.”

 

Kageyama had told his mom that Oikawa had broke up with him but that's all he had said. He had disappeared into his room, eating in unhealthy increments, but she hadn’t said anything. She didn’t know what he would want to hear.  

And now she had driven him here on his request and he felt ever so nauseated. 

He just felt embarrassed to be seen. That just by looking at him anyone could tell he was a disappointment. Worthless. 

He stepped forward and picked up a stray ball, warped in red and green ribbons of color. It rested in his palm. He hated how it reminded him of Oikawa. 

The ball fell to the floor. 

 

Quickly a flash of orange swooped under his bent arm.

“You dropped it.” 

A boy about Kageyama’s age held the ball between his stretched fingers. He was quite a few inches shorter than Kageyama, but he seemed to occupy the entire room with his hyper energy. 

His lips stretched into a wide grin, his capacious brown eyes fixed on Kageyama. Kageyama was still, looking back at the boy. Somehow the boys smile enhanced and his cheeks flushed. 

“Uh-”

He reached out and took Kageyama’s hand, and placed the ball in the center of it. 

“There.”

Kageyama looked down at the ball and then back to the boys vividly orange, untamed hair. The tufts of hair ravaged over each other and defied the sense of gravity. They bounded up and down as the boy spoke. 

“I’m Hinata.” 

Hinata glanced down at his feet. 

“I know it's a weird request, but you give me a couple of tosses?” 

Kageyama gave him a slight nod and Hinata’s eyebrows shot up.

“Really?!”

Without pause, he ran around to the other side of the net. 

“Okay” he said, “Okay.”

Kageyama lifted the ball, gently throwing it up and hitting it with his fists as it came back down. 

The volleyball bulleted across the court. Hinata on the other side jumped up, but the ball had already hit the wall behind him. 

“Holy shit.”

He turned to watch the ball rebound off the side of gym. He put his hands on hs hips. 

“ _ Holy _ shit.”

Kageyama stood dazed at his own throw, but mostly at the sight of Hinata. The boy sprinted up to him. 

“Another one?”

“Sure.” Kageyama spoke softly.

Before the boy could turn around, Kageyama added to his sentence.

“I’m Kageyama.”

“You have an amazing serve, Kageyama.” The boy waited a moment. “Do you play for a team?”

Kageyama thought about that, he didn’t know if he would return to Kitagawa Daiichi. 

“I do, but more so I’m looking forward to highschool.”

Hinata whined. “No kidding.”

“I don’t have a team.” he sulked. 

“I’ve tried to form one at my school, but  _ nobody _ will join.” He rolled his eyes, “I’ve had to practice with the Girl’s Volleyball team.”

He had an abrupt change in heart. 

“But, y’know, practice is practice.” 

He rushed to the other side of the net.

“I’m going to be the ace.”

“You can’t just go around saying that before you are.” Kageyama retorted. He stopped himself and waited nervously for Hinata’s reaction. 

“Kageyamaaaaa!” he complained. “A boy can dream can’t he?” 

Kageyama ignored the increase in his already pulsing heart beat. He served the ball. 

Hinata missed it again. 

“Didn’t you say you practiced?” Kageyama said. 

Hinata squinted at him mockingly. 

“Just you wait, I’m going to hit one of these serves right back at you.”

“If you can.”

“For a boy that didn’t seem to talk a lot, you’re sure mean, Kageyama san.”

Kageyama jumped into the air, batting the ball forward.

“A JUMP SERVE?” he heard Hinata yell from the other side of the net. 

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”

Surprisingly, Hinata sprung into the air, higher than Kageyama had ever seen anyone jump. The boy reached for the ball and hit it down, the ball slapping down on Kageyama’s side of the court.

“Ha! I got it this time, Kageyama!” Hinata cheered brightly. 

He stuck out his tongue and laughed. 

“You must’ve practiced that serve a lot.”

 

* * *

 

Oikawa stopped in the middle of the dirt path that exited the school. They had just closed the gym. Iwaizumi was a bit behind them, looking for his parents car. They were each carrying their duffel bags on their sides, stuffed with their volleyball gear. Oikawa stepped to stand in front of Kageyama on the trail.

“I’m not going to come over tonight, Tobio.”

Kageyama looked up at him, Oikawa’s eyes laced with impending guilt. Oikawa opened his mouth, but just ended up pressing his lips together. 

“I- Tobio, our 3rd year is going to end soon and I-”    
Kageyama tensed.

“I’m breaking up with you.”

Oikawa shook his head, but not in denial, just as if he were trying to rid himself of something.

“You’re really immature, and you’re just not  _ fun,  _ and I’m not interested in that.”

Oikawa was so blunt. 

“It’s just boring now, isn’t it?”

Oikawa took a deep breath, wincing at Kageyama’s dismal expression. 

“I just, I don’t want to be in a dull relationship anymore, when I have different opportunities.”

Kageyama sent him a glare. 

“Ah.” Oikawa chuckled uncomfortably.   

Kageyama stirred on his words, desperately trying to focus on the ground and not on how his head  _ ached so bad _ . He let his soft black bangs fall in front of his eyes.  

“Who cares.” Kageyama grumbled. “Whatever, stupid Oikawa.”

Oikawa had on a more amused look now.  His jaw was sharp in the shadowing sunset, making him appear as some threateningly handsome villain. Oikawa patted his shoulder satrically. 

“See you around, Tobio chan.” 

He started to walk away towards the road side, but swung around while he was walking, 

“Don’t forget to work on your jump serve.” He waved. 

“Shut up.” Kageyama muttered. 

“Asshole.” Kageyama said a little louder in hopes that Oikawa could hear it. 

Oikawa did, but he just faced forward once again and kept walking. 

 

* * *

 

 

Kageyama walked out the glass doors of the recreation center, with Hinata by his side. Hinata had been talking with extreme enthusiasm about Kageyama’s technique and Kageyama had just been partially paying attention, mostly just watching Hinata’s eyes move around. They were a warm golden brown. 

Kageyama twitched when he heard his name. He looked up and noticed his mom’s pale blue car in the distant parking lot. She was standing at the door, calling for him.  

_ Dammit.  _

“My mom-” Kageyama’s voice faltered.

_ How do I ask him out without being so utterly obvious?  _

“I can help you with your spikes.” He blurted, shoving his phone at Hinata.  

“Really?!” Hinata typed his number into a new contact excitedly.

He gave a Kageyama a shining expansive smile, tilting his head back so his orange hair caught the rays of the luminous sun, leaving wisps of gold in his wild hair.

Kageyama shivered.  

Hinata waved to Kageyama. 

“I gotta get home!” He said.

He was already pulling his bike from the tarnished metal rack a few feet away. He pulled himself over it, and pushed his volleyball shoes onto the neon orange petals. He whipped around to Kageyama before leaving. 

“You better text me, Kageyama san!” 

Then he sped down the sidewalk, pursuing a tall hill. 

 

Kageyama watched until Hinata’s figure was distant, and then shuffled to his moms car, quietly getting in the passengers side door. 

His mom didn’t start the car. She was looking at him. 

Kageyama faced her. 

“What?” 

She gently shifted her face and gave him a questioning look. 

“Who was that?”

Kageyama pale face flushed instantaneously.

“He’s just a friend.” 

“Mmm.” She hummed, a smirk on her lips. 

She started the engine. 

“He looks cute. Quite animated.”

Kageyama shook his head in embarrassment. 

“Just a friend.” She muttered as she put the car in reverse. 

Kageyama just looked down at his knees. 

_ For now  _ He thought.


	3. Dumbass

Kageyama slumped into his desk chair, pushing his volleyball bag under the table with his foot. He stared down at the screen of his phone as it awaited his password. 

He sighed and reached down into the trashcan and plucked Oikawa’s shirt out from under a few tissues and a small carton of milk. His gaze settled into the rich blue of the cotton shirt and he slung it over the arm of the chair with defeat. 

He slid his phone into his palm and clicked call under Oikawa’s contact. It rung with a dull beat until Oikawa eventually picked up his phone.

 

“Oikawa here!”

“Hey.” Kageyama offered cautiously. 

It was a moment filled with anticipation from both ends of the call.

“Who is this?” Oikawa cooed almost smugly. 

Kageyama was fairly sure that Oikawa would recognize his voice but reminded him, trying to sound spiteful.

“Oh! Tobio chan, this is unexpected.”

“I found your shirt.” Kageyama said trying to avoid pleasantries.

“Which one?”

Kageyama gritted his teeth. 

_ Why did he call for it earlier this week if he was just going to forget about it? _

“The blue one.” Kageyama spoke bitterly, trying to be as undescriptive as possible. 

“Ah!” Oikawa said as if he were suddenly remembering it.

“Where was it?” Oikawa crooned curiously. 

Kageyama could almost hear Oikawa’s suspicion in his breathing. He stared down into the pit of his garbage can. Kageyama lingered on what to say. 

“It was just stuffed into the back of my closet.” 

He tried to sound confident in his proclamation.  

“Of course.” Oikawa’s voice was a sharp purr. “I can pick it up from you at the next volleyball practice or something.” 

“No. I’ll just send it. Or maybe I’ll just give it to Iwaizumi.” Kageyama decided.

Oikawa’s voice screeched across the line. 

“DON’T. DON’T GIVE IT TO IWAIZUMI, JUST SEND IT, OKAY?” 

“Oikawa san, are you okay?”

“I’m FINE.” Oikawa snapped. 

Kageyama didn’t know how to finish a conversation with Oikawa anymore so he just ended the call to the sound of Oikawa huffing angrily. 

 

“What an idiot.” He murmured. 

Kageyama tapped back into his contacts and deleted Oikawa’s altogether. The picture, the numbers, his birthday, all fell away, leaving a blank white. 

Kageyama scrolled up slightly, until he recognized  _ Hinata Shōyō  _ among insignificant people from elementary school and various relatives.

> **kageyama** : hey

He leaned back, about to set his phone down onto the table top as it quivered in his hand. He hurried the screen back, close, close, to his eyes so he could read the words Hinata had sent him.

> **hinata** : hi kageyama!!

Kageyama’s cheeks warmed. 

> **hinata** : hold on i can harly breath after bikng home im DYING 

kageyama read carefully, ignoring the numerous misspellings. 

_ Dumbass _

> **kageyama** : _how_ long of a ride was it?

Hinata’s reply seemed hesitant.

> **hinata** : a 45 minute bike ride

Kageyama rolled his eyes.

> **kageyama** : who fucking rides 45 minutes just to go to the recreational center?
> 
> **hinata** : you said it yourself kageyama. i NEED practice
> 
> **kageyama** : dumbass “
> 
> **hinata** : bakayama  
> 
> **kageyama** : excuse me?

 

They messaged back and forth for a few minutes before kageyama was forced to end the conversation because of his mother’s threatening yells for him to get downstairs for dinner. 

> **hinata** : kageyamaaaa text me when you get back
> 
> **kageyama** : you sound desperate
> 
> **hinata** : im bored  
> 
> also you’re fun to talk to BAKAYAMA

 

Kageyama wasn’t used to making playful conversation. Hinata was fine with Kageyama’s judgements and cursing, though was quick to defend himself and occasionally retort. Kageyama was constantly guarded as he texted, worried that he might slip up and send what he was actually thinking. 

 

_ I like talking to him. I like talking to him a lot.  _

_ His jumps are astounding _

_ He’s adorable  _

Kageyama was a genuine boy, but would never allow his sincerity to reach his cold, reserved exterior. 

 

> **kageyama** : ok fine  
> 
> i will 
> 
> **hinata** : enjoy your dinner kageyama

 

Kageyama shut off his phone. 

_ Dumbass,  _ Kageyama blushed. 

**Author's Note:**

> *bonus: a smol breakup inspiration playlist*
> 
> I think that when oikawa and kageyama broke up, kageyama would listen to “forgiveness” by paramore and oikawa would listen to “my number” by the foals, allow me to explain. 
> 
> I feel like kageyama, while he can seem very cold would be a boy that gets very sentimental and dramatic during a break up, and “forgiveness” is a song about someone that just feels like mess after what this other person has done to them, and they can’t find it in themselves to forgive because of what a mess that other person has caused. I feel like kageyama would listen to very sappy overdramatic songs about break ups, and this song is very expressive in how hurt and sad this person feels and i think Kageyama would find a sympathy in the songs lyrics. I can just imagine Kageyama laying on the floor with misty eyes, whispering along to the song, “youuuuuuu, you want forgiveness. But iiiiiiiiiiii, i just can’t give it yet.”
> 
> Next, Oikawa’s break up song. I feel like after breaking up with Kageyama Oikawa would act very cocky, but he would just go home, sit in his room, clutching himself, blasting this song. “My number” is a song about a recently broken up couple, and how they don’t have each others numbers anymore so therefor they don’t need each other to feel complete. I feel like Oikawa would just play this song on repeat on FULL VOLUME, wailing the lyrics. I feel like he would look for encouragement in these lyrics about moving on, but overall he’d just be balling. He’d want to be portrayed as a well controlled confident boy, but mostly he’s extremely emotional and can’t handle big life events (even when he is the cause of the event) without just solidly crying for hours.


End file.
